as 2015 approaches

Hello hello.

I've been MIA for quite some time and its because i just didn't feel like noting anything down here. I' ve been using Dayre to blog and to note down what has happened so far. Ok. Let me summarise everything here.

Hmm. Now now. What is worth saying here? Lets start of with Christmas? I spend my Christmas Eve at work for the day and at night, we went over to Ai Leng's house for dinner. It was great to spend time with a few of my relatives and i did have fun. Food was great too. After that, we went home and i tried to have get a quick nap because i was so so tired as i didn't get much sleep the night before(thats another story) but i didn't get any sleep at all. Then we went to church for the midnight mass. It ended around 12 sth? And thats also because we left early because everybody was too tired and it was quite humid and hot. On Christmas day itself, we went to catch The Hobbit. It was meh. Came out feeling very drowsy because it feels like bits and pieces were recorded and just combined without and professional skills in it. Very choppy. So it wasn't that good. And then for dinner, we went to another cousin's house. So i guess that sums up my Christmas day. How was yours?

Ok. Bye. HAHA

December - a month to focus on myself

So, i came across this article on Facebook. Its called the "11 signs you are not ready to be in a relationship".

And i guess i would say that i'm not ready to be in a relationship. Why? Here goes..

#11 You are not happy
Hmm..the article said that if you are not happy with your life, if you get into a relationship thinking a relationship will make you happy, you are actually just burdening your partner and end up,you won't be happy in the relationship either.
In my case, i'm not to say that i'm not happy with my life but i do complain a lot so i wouldn't say i'm completely happy? I have not achieve what i want to achieve so i guess if i get to achieve what i want,i'll be like 100% happy. Who wouldn't right? but yeah. Anyways,i'm getting happier now actually. I'm starting to accept my life as it is and try to carry on from there. I guess if i am not happy,no matter what i do,i also won't be happy. So i have to be happy to start with and then proceed from there.

#10 You still miss you ex.
Ok. Not applicable.

#9 You're more than "too busy"
Apparently if you can't take time off for yourself, you should not promise someone else your time.
I think this applies more to someone i know BUT i am very picky in who i meet. Although i am free,if someone whom i don't feel like meeting,i will just decline. There are not many people that i always agree to meet. Generally, i will always try to make my time for my very close friends and a certain few other friends. The rest,i will just decline. I know i should change that attitude of mine and start meeting new people.

#8 You're unsure of your feelings.
The article says that love is natural and don't need reasons. Note that i'm just summarising the article.
Ok. In my case,everything i do have to have a reason which includes falling in love. I can't think of those reasons now but somehow,if i like someone,i will have a reason that i like him. So i guess mine is not natural? And i'm always doubting my feelings. Like whether do i really like him for him or just his appearance etc etc..

#7 You have trust issues.
If you have trust issues,you will kill your partner with your insecurities.
Absolutely my case. As long the guy is not my boyfriend,i will always doubt him and its bad because i know guys hate girls who are insecure. But unfortunately,with the amount of divorce cases i see in office and also in my personal life, its hard not to trust people. And somemore, sometimes the guys are the one who make me doubt them although i try my best not to.

#6 You need a savior.
Ok. Not very applicable to me either.

#5 You love drama.
If you love drama,you'll bring drama into the relationship and the relationship will get ruined.
I LOVE DRAMAS!!! But i'm not too sure whether do i bring drama into the relationship. All i know is my emotions are always very heightened. When i'm angry,i'm really angry. When i'm happy,i'm really happy. So maybe i do bring drama into the relationship? Not too sure about this either.

#4 You think relationships are everything.
Relationships are meant to enhance your life,not BE your life.
Unfortunately, when i get into a relationship, it will become my life and not enhancing it. Thats what happens when you become too serious in a relationship and can't take it easy. Sigh.

#3 You want to save someone
Not applicable to me because i don't believe in "saving" someone by getting into a relationship with them. Heck i don't even want to meet people often.

#2 You want to change for others
Don't really know how to summarise this but basically, i do change for people and clearly its not advisable because your partner is supposed to accept you for who you are. I guess changing for your partner will just make you a whole different person and that person is totally not you. So why must you change for your partner? He/she is supposed to like you for who you are. So i must not change for the guy i'm interested in and in fact,if he likes me,he's supposed to like me for who i am. *self reminder*

#1 You are desperate.
Doesn't really apply to me although sometimes i do wonder why am i still single.

Based on the above analysis, which are clearly done because i'm too free, i guess i'm not ready to be in a relationship. The most important thing now is to focus on myself,make sure i love myself and happy. And also, i won't be chasing love but i'm gonna sit here and let love find me. People say "YOU WILL FIND LOVE WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT".